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Ban Privacy Now: Powerful New Organization

Thursday, March 4th, 2010
Posted in Debate, Entertainment by Joel Gross

Today is a grand day… I am officially founding the “Ban Privacy Now!” organization.

As the President, CFO, leading advocate and only member of Ban Privacy Now (BPN) I am proud to announce that our sole purpose will be the outing of child molestors and their nefarious advocates (pro privacy organizations) everywhere and eliminating laws that support privacy online and offline.

The BAN PRIVACY NOW hitlist is as follows:

  1. Privacy Rights Clearinghouse
  2. Electronic Privacy Information Center
  3. Inform IT
  4. Privacy Alliance
  5. Network Advertising Initiative
  6. Privacy Foundation
  7. Online Policy Grop
  8. Privacy International

All of the above organizations directly contribute to allowing the continued hiding of mob bosses, badly behaved politicians, corrupt pastors, two-faced bosses, white supremacy groups, black supremacy groups, and many other evil people doing bad things.

What can we do about it?  We should fight them in the courts, in Congress and through the power of the mighty Internets.  We are fighting the most powerful company on the internet – Google Itself (I capitalized Itself since Google is now self-aware) and Google now wants all Adwords users to publish “Privacy Policys” on their websites.  Screw that.

Right now you are asking yourself should I join Ban Privacy Now?  Make up your mind by answering yes or no to the following questions:

  • Do you have a 1.3 terabytes of child pornography on your computer?
  • Have you played doctor after the age of 18 with someone under it?
  • Is your name Joel Osteen?
  • Do you cry yourself to sleep at night because of your horrible crimes?

If you answered YES to any of the questions, Ban Privacy Now is not the organization for you.

However, if you said NO to all 4 questions then you should join Ban Privacy Now.

Are you in?

(If you don’t join by saying “I’M IN” in the comments under your real name, the rest of us will know what you do at night)