The interwebs brought me this hilarious video of these walking up to random girls and telling them “Put your number in my phone”. They have a pretty big success rate… only 25% of the girls said no or said they had a boyfriend! I wonder how many numbers were fake. Pretty awesome! LA ladies are lucky I am in a committed relationship lol or they would be feeling very awkward.
Trent asked me that question today and followed it up by saying, “Metric: time-weight average your ratings of all the ladies you have been with.” Essentially, you weight the hotness by the time spent with the girl. I found the concept intriguing and so I decided to run with it and builta spreadsheet. This is the problem with doing data mining & analytics all the time at work… I do it for fun now too. Took me about 3 minutes to set up. Results are below.
First I should give a quick explanation of my hotness rating scale. The Joel Scale follows this principle: The average college-educated 22 year old is a 5. Most people I know say my scale is a little bit harsh compared to their own, but I find it makes sense to me. These ratings are solely based on physical appearance (face, body, athleticism) and have nothing to do with personality/intelligence.
I have removed the girls names and they are in no particular order here:The 5.00 rating is the average of all the girls without counting time. If you use the time-weighted hotness scale, the girls I have dated are an average of 5.79. Apparently I’m shallow and won’t stay with a girl long if she isn’t cuter than average. I also have spent a total of 43 months dating women.
| Name | Hotness | Months Dated | Weighted Average |
| Girl 1 | 5 | 9 | 1.046511628 |
| Girl 2 | 4 | 1 | 0.093023256 |
| Girl 3 | 7 | 13 | 2.11627907 |
| Girl 4 | 6 | 6 | 0.837209302 |
| Girl 5 | 5 | 1 | 0.11627907 |
| Girl 6 | 3 | 1 | 0.069767442 |
| Girl 7 | 4 | 1 | 0.093023256 |
| Girl 8 | 8 | 2 | 0.372093023 |
| Girl 9 | 5 | 1 | 0.11627907 |
| Girl 10 | 6 | 1 | 0.139534884 |
| Girl 11 | 3 | 2 | 0.139534884 |
| Girl 12 | 7 | 3 | 0.488372093 |
| Girl 13 | 4 | 1 | 0.093023256 |
| Girl 14 | 3 | 1 | 0.069767442 |
| 5.00 | 43 | 5.790697674 |
My Methodology: The number in the right hand Time Weighted column were derived by using the following formula= (Months Dated/Total Months-43) * hotness.
Example: Girl 1 = 9/43 * 5= 1.0465
After you have gotten those numbers for all of the girls, sum up the Time Weighted column to get the average hotness of the girls you have dated, adjusted for time.
Hmmm… How hot are you? Post in the comments!
Bobby Fischer- “How can I possibly remember all the girls I’ve slept with? I’ve got a list at home.”
The correlation between dating and sales is unmistakable. Many steps in both processes are an exact match for one another. Below I am going to compare how the dating and sales processes work and also analyze my own current performance. Hopefully you will be able to gain some takeaways for your own life.
| Step | Sales | Dating | Joel |
| Research | What am I selling and who is my customer? Determine focus. | What type of person do I want to date? Find the qualities that you are compatible with. | Beautiful, intelligent females with personality near my age group. |
| Targeting | Where is my customers and how can I reach them? | Where and how will I meet the person I want? | Best way is through friends and social events; bars rarely work well. |
| Introduction | How do I get in front of my potential customer? Get them to listen to you with an open mind. | Initially approaching women or men is hard. Overcome fear the fear of rejection. | Fearlessness & confidence are the key. Gain them through practice. |
| Qualification | What value do I offer to my potential customer? Why is my product/ service good for them? | Bragging fails, but you need to somehow convey your best traits. | I have the most difficulty here because I am naturally laid back. Need to show off a bit. |
| Proposal | Get their contact information and plan a time to give a formal proposal. | Obtain phone number or another future contact method. | High rate of success by the time I reach this stage. |
| Negotiation | Process of talking on the phone or meeting in person to determine details. | Calling or texting in order to engage and plan initial date. | Maybe too much dawdling on my part during the inital phone call. |
| Closing | Coming to an agreement to move forward | Passing the first few dates | My specialty. I am a very entertaining person. |
| Transaction | Cash in the bank, contract in hand. | Solidified emotional connection. | Usually fairly successful. |
| Retention | Keep client through the years? | Long term relationships? | I get bored or annoyed often. |
I am sure if you think about it you will come up with even more correlations between dating and sales than I have here. ‚ Do you have any ideas you would like to add?
Samianianianian Talent Agent
World-class talent needs proper representation. As an up and coming superstar, I have hired myself an agent from Samanianianian Talent Agency named Cynthia. No longer will I need to grovel with the common herd of humanity in order to accomplish my goals. Instead, Cynthia will take care of the dirty details and my hands will remain immaculately perfect.‚ From now on, when I go out and see a woman I might potentially be interested in, I’ll send my talent agent to do some recon and find out the real story.‚ No more listening to blonde blowhards drone on and on about themselves.‚ My talent agent will also be responsible for fielding calls from phone numbers I do not recognize to make sure its not someone I don’t want to talk to.‚ She will also handle scheduling dates by using the following script:
Cynthia: “Hi, I’m Cynthia and I’m Joel’s agent.‚ He wants you to join him for dinner tonight at Quinn’s on Capitol Hill.
Random Girl: “Woooohoooo!‚ I’ve just hit the Man-Lotto!
Cynthia: “Shall I schedule the dinner for 8 pm?”
Random Girl: “Yes, I’ll be there!”
Just substitute whatever activity for dinner @ Quinn’s and different superlatives from different random girls and this should work in any situation.
All of my friends, family and acquaintances should now go through my agent when contacting me.‚ I am a busy, busy man.
Friday night I walked into Ballroom in Fremont at 9 pm with Nick & Brian.‚ We were there early so we wouldn’t have to pay cover and could eat some food.‚ We were all hungry after playing two hours of basketball earlier and Brian had claimed that the pizza at the Ballroom was very good… but Brian also greatly enjoys KFC, so Nick and I had some serious doubts.
Looking around, we discovered that Ballroom was already pretty full and all of the tables were taken.‚ Brian suggested that we sit on a bench in the back and order our food, but I had a better idea.‚ Join a half full table.
Two pretty girls had one of the tall, horse-shoe shaped tables to themselves.‚ I pointed them out to Brian and Nick, but Brian was feeling shy and was opposed to the idea.‚ Nick thought it was funny and encouraged me. I went.
Aggressive networking is something that I am really starting to believe in.‚ I base it upon the idea that I realistically have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying to make more friends wherever I go.‚ The concept of aggressive networking actually applies to both women and men, and it works in business situations as well as dating situations. Already I have met many interesting new people at startup events and am starting to reap the dividends from being ballsy.
Nerves used to be a problem for me when meeting new people, but I have done it enough now that I only had a slight twinge of excitement when I walked up to the two girls table.‚ “My friends and I would like to order food but all of the other tables are taken; would you mind if we join you?”
The ladies chimed, “Sure! Sit down!” with big smiles so I grabbed Nick and Brian and we crowded into the booth.
“My name’s Joel.”
“I’m Ari.”
“I’m Kelsey. How are you?”
For me, the initial engagement is the hardest part and once I have started a conversation I can carry it and keep it entertaining as long as I wish.‚ The five of us sat and ate the actually pretty good pizza and drank wine for the next two and a half hours.‚ The girls were there for a friends birthday, so we also got introduced to a bunch of other babies.
A little bit of courage and aggressive engagement brought me several new friends and made my night much more fun than it otherwise would have been.‚ Before I left, I made sure to get Ari’s number- she is a very pretty, petite brunette.‚ I called her last night and we chatted for about an hour and she wants to meet up again this weekend if I don’t go to LA.
If everyone aggressively engaged those around them, the world would be a much better place.‚ More friends, more dates, more business contacts leading to a tighter knit society.
Losing is hard.‚ How you carry yourself after a loss shows an awful lot about your character.‚ Do you take it like a man or do you not acknowledge it? Do you put it behind you or do you let it fester in your heart?‚ Do you try to learn from what happened or do you throw it in everyone’s face?
A story recently worked its way back around to me about someone who was unable to walk again after losing in the dating game and crawled into the gutter of bitterness.
He had been interested in a pretty woman, but either she didn’t share his feelings or he wasn’t aggressive enough and so she actually asked him to set her up with someone else who caught her fancy.‚ After he refused, she figured out a different path to her goal. It’s tough to lose when it involves your heart.‚ I feel for the man- I’ve been there myself and it can feel like you got kicked in the balls.
The reaction you make in a situation like this shows your true colors.‚ A man would stand back up, brush himself and his bruised ego off and march on to the next battle.
Not gonna happen in this story- I told you earlier this story is about rotten eggs and foul feelings.
The woman and her new beau see the man at a party.‚ Does he go shake the guy’s hand (actually one of his friends)?‚ Nah… why do that when you can corner the woman alone and make a speech to her?
He looked at her seriously and said:
“I’m really happy for you and your new guy… really.‚ I did think it was obnoxious though that you wanted me to set you up with him, since I was into you.”
“I really doubt that you’ll ever “get” him though.‚ I mean he is just a more attractive version of me, and while you are attractive, I’m sure he’ll get bored after a few months.‚ He wants someone with more bang upstairs.”
She looked at him in shock and said, “You think I’m just a pretty face and not smart enough for him?”
“Yes, the same reason I wouldn’t want to be with you.”
Oh bitter grapes.‚ So angry, so small and so tasteless.
We all have had that friend who thought he’d landed himself a beautiful girl… a girl who even he thought was above his reach.‚ He would go all googly eyed and stupid around her.‚ He would brag about her to all of his friends.‚ He would talk about marriage.‚ Then she’d dump him and he’d be heartbroken.‚ He was just a passing interest for her.
So the question is: Should you date someone who you think is a level above you? Someone who is a better overall combination of looks, personality, intelligence, money, charisma, and sex appeal?
I mean we have all seen the ugly girl with the cute guy or the retarded guy with a smart woman and wondered, “What the hell?”‚ We have seen our friends with either a person we considered significantly above or below their level and shaken our heads.‚ Rarely are our expectations of their failure disappointed.
I have never dated a girl who I thought was a level above me… perhaps I have some insecurity that keeps me from really going after one… or its just that my ego is so huge I think everyone is under me lol.‚ A combination of both probably. Hypothetically, is it worth the high rejection rate and potential pain to pursue someone you think obviously outclasses you?
