King of America: Aging Differences Between Men and Women
The way that American society views the aging of men is very different from the way we view the aging of women. Men generally hit their physical prime between the ages of 24 and 28, their sexual prime around 16 and their overall social prime around 40. Women generally hit their physical prime [...]
King of America: Policy on Suicide
In America we have several basic rights: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We have the freedom to either try to be happy (making money, chasing women, running marathons) or to not be happy (anything goth). Americans have the liberty to do most anything that they please: pick their nose, create militias, drive [...]
Lori Drew: Evil Psycho
A 47 year old mother, Lori Drew, was angry at a 13 year old girl who had snubbed her daughter, so Lori Drew created a fake MySpace profile of a good looking boy and had the boy become the 13 year old’s online boyfriend. They dated for a month, then Lori Drew started sending [...]
King of America Speaks out for Voluntary Polygamy/Polyamory
Polygamy and polyamory have received a bad rap in human history. Religious groups and weirdos have practiced a perverted version of both and have created an atmosphere of disgust and intolerance for both. When I become King of America, I will bring back the pure form of polyamory. Why? Because I’m [...]
Why Joel Doesn’t Vote
I have had discussions with two people recently who have criticized me for not voting, so I think I should clarify why I don’t.
Ever since I was a small child, I have been an avid student of history, economics and politics. I have constantly put my beliefs to the test and have changed them [...]
King Of America: Policy on Sports & Crime
When I take over my duties as King of America, I will be instituting a series of policies meant to resolve the major issues facing our nation today. Today, I am going to discuss my beautiful solution that kills two big problems with one stone: Crime and lack of entertainment.
America right now has over [...]
King of America
I have decided that I am going to be the first King of America.
King of America will be a new branch of the government like the Presidency, Supreme Court and Legislature; only it will reside above these. Why do we need a new branch of the government you ask? Every so often someone [...]
Like my cheesy pic? :) 
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