“Death Post”

I thought about writing a post that would be published on my blog upon my death, but decided against it.  Something tells me that A) the idea is trite B) I would accidentally publish it at some point before my passing, causing endless grief.

Instead, I will post something below similar to what the death post would’ve been:

*Clears throat….

Followers of the King of America, the world has just ended.  Your leader has decided to move on and become King of the Universe and wishes you to come join him.  Do so immediately by climbing upon the nearest object higher than 40 feet, shut your eyes and leap off head first.  This is your ticket to the Ultimate Heaven, where I will greet you with 72 virgins and a Budweiser Clamato.

Yes, I know ripped off another religion’s idea, but if the promise of untouched women has worked so well before, why reinvent the wheel?

4 Responses to ““Death Post””

1. 1
   Marty Says:
   July 13th, 2009 at 8:16 pm

   joel, i like your twisted sense of reasoning. You are doing the all those idiots on the internet a huuuuuge favor by exposing these snake oil salesman.
   keep up the great work Joel X.

2. 2
   Joel Says:
   July 14th, 2009 at 9:11 am

   Thank you Marty!

3. 3
   Marty Says:
   July 14th, 2009 at 5:13 pm

   I have a great product for your web site if you are interested. I am a businessman from California and have many ideas that may intrigue you. I was a normal kid raised in a catholic church where not 1, not 2, but 3 priests were suddenly transfered. My downslide started there and now I am a strict Confucious beleiver. I think all of these phonies on TBN and EWTN are just book salesman. I fight great delight and get extreme entertainment from watching these freaks though. Do you ever find yourself drawn to someone like Mother Angelica? This hacking penguin is so full of shit she would sell you her snot rags if she could. And what about the audiences in these circuses? PT Barnum had it right along.
   Peace Joel X..
   Can I have a autograped picture?

4. 4
   Joel Says:
   July 14th, 2009 at 9:34 pm

   Marty,

   I would be interested in your product and ideas. What are they? I also am fascinated my these “whited sepulchres” of television who are far more interested in their own fame, power & money then in any spiritual ends.

   Also- I’m not sure why you would want an autographed picture… you know I’m not a pro athlete or television star, right?