Category Archives:

Funny Comments

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
Posted in Entertainment by Joel Gross

Famous people and unknowns sometimes say some very hilarious things, which is why I have brought to you a compilation of funny Funny Commentss. Read and enjoy below:

“Men between the ages of 18 and 25 must register for the draft on
their 18th birthday.” Funny Comments By Sign in a US Post Office
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,” Funny Comments By Miss Alabama in the 1994
“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers.
We are the president. ” Funny Comments By Hillary Clinton commenting on the release
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.
A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.
And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.” Funny Comments By Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
Britain is not an island…well, yes it is, but… Funny Comments by Unidentified MP, on BBC Radio 4
“I was provided with additional input that was radically different from
the truth. I assisted in furthering that version. ” Funny Comments By Colonel Oliver North, from his IranFunny Comments ByContra testimony.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
We have to expect it, otherwise we would be surprised. Funny Comments By Unidentified general officer, re: Gulf war.
“The City of Rochester (Michigan) is considering a ban on smoking
at the park because people are leaving their butts on the beach.” Funny Comments By Announcer, WJR Radio, Detroit, MI
“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people. ” Funny Comments By Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
This door must not be opened under any circumstances. Funny Comments By Sign outside a fire exit in a hotel
“We have good reason to believe he was stabbed. There was a sharp
object sticking out of his chest.” Funny Comments by Lt. R. Travis, Newburgh, NY, Police Dept,
It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure. Funny Comments By Unknown.
I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix. Funny Comments By Unknown. This has been attributed to:
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. Robert Bloch
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it. ” Funny Comments By Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
“Continuous coverage of the war in the Persian Gulf will resume in
a moment.” Funny Comments by Tom Brokaw, NBC News
Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas. Funny Comments By Keppel Enderbery
“Mobile launchers are more difficult to detect because they move
around, unlike fixed launchers.” Funny Comments by Katie Coucik, NBC News
Tensions in Latvia…are tense… Funny Comments By WBZ Radio, Boston, 21 Jan 91, news
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades…or a game of fake heart attack.
“It’s no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
another” Funny Comments By George Bush, US President
“I don’t feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves. ” Funny Comments By John Wayne
“Although some functional managers had heard of RISC, virtually
none had heard of RISC” Funny Comments By Digital Marketing Study
“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
and I’m just the one to do it. ” Funny Comments By a congressional candidate in Texas.
President Union will address the nation on the state of the Bush. _ Hampton Pearson, news reporter, WBZ TV
YoFunny Comments ByYo Ma and Bobby McFerrin together again for the first time. Funny Comments By Ellen Kushner on “Caravan”, WGBH radio,
“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that,
but not with all those flies and death and stuff. ” Funny Comments By Mariah Carey
“The President continues to surprise people, so I am not surprised
to be surprised.” Funny Comments by US Secy of Defense Dick Cheney
“Sir James Spicer…has officially opened a lavatory at the Piddle
Valley First School near Dorchester.” Funny Comments By VNS #2244 Main News, 23 Jan 90
We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur. Funny Comments By Al Gore, VP
“President Bush is due to address the nation in approximately 20
minutes precisely.” Funny Comments by Peter Jennings, ABC News
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils … Louis Hector Berlioz
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!

I found the Hilary Clinton Funny Comments to be very funny- She has thought she was the President of the United States since back in ’92 when Bill Clinton was her puppet.