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Good things

Friday, April 13th, 2007
Posted in Uncategorized by Joel Gross

To balance out my previous post, I decided to write about some products and concepts that rock the world. Warning: there may be tongue-in-cheek humor ahead as well as deer crossing.

-Social networking sites are able to bring people together for commerce, socialization and fun. Go Facebook, Craigslist and Myspace! Myspace has gotta fix this spam issue though or I will stop using it.

-Beef Jerky- the greatest food ever invented: it’s portable, light, proteinous and incredibly tasty.

-Gap tall men’s pants: I don’t have to let my pants sag a little anymore. I know I said they suck in the last post, but that is their advertising unit. Management should move their marketing department to the basement, then lock the doors and open the water mains. Wait, Russia already did that in Berlin after winning WW2, but we don’t criticize genocide when its done by the victors, right? Wow, I just took that to a whole different level.

-Pez. So simple, So sweet.

-Booze. My one, my only, my life companion.

-Crack. Like Pez, but better.

-Safeway’s giant tubs of masturbating (moisturizing) lotion.

-Women. Especially from my other favorite product, Craigslist’s erotic services.

-Penismobiles (McLaren F1, Corvettes, big lifted trucks). Gotta make up for that small dick somehow.

-Gatorade bottles: they come with a tasty, semi-healthy drink inside and then you can reuse them for a couple of weeks as water bottles/protein drink holders.

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