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Hakim the Mad: Fun Dude`

Thursday, January 15th, 2009
Posted in Entertainment by Joel Gross

Hakim the Mad, who sadly passed away in 1021 A.D., was an entertaining fellow.‚  He was the Caliph of Egypt, and as a totalitarian ruler, made all sorts of fun laws.‚  He banned eating grapes and water cress and also banned the playing of chess.‚  Maybe he lost one too many games.‚  He also didn’t like barking dogs so he ordered that they all be put to death.‚  When he found a merchant that cheated someone, he would have his loyal slave Massoud sodomize the man while Hakim stood on the merchant’s head.‚  Ah, the joys of unfettered power.‚  Eventually, his sister assassinated him after she became alarmed by his repeated sexual advances towards her.‚ ‚  She hid his body in a well and all they found was his bloody donkey, so of course a religious sect called the Druze determined that God had sucked him up to heaven and that Hakim will return on Judgement Day.‚  Not sure I want to be judged as a cheater by Hakim.