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Heather isn’t at fault

Monday, October 29th, 2007
Posted in Brothers by Joel Gross

I just read Jordan’s blog entry on Justin staying in school. Jordan’s absolutely correct, Justin must stay in school.

However, I hate how everyone in our family always blames other people when they fail in their responsibilities. If Justin fails in school, it’ll be his own damned fault. He is the idiot who decided he needed to waste his money on a single, he is the one who made a decision to drop a class, he is the one who allows himself to be distracted constantly.

Justin, quit being a coward and stop letting people blame your girlfriend for your own mistakes. Stand up for her or don’t be with her. Don’t let anyone control you either. If I was her, I would leave you if you dropped out. Who wants to date a quitter and a failure? No ones wants to be around someone who has shut their doors and is desperate and sad. You are on that path if you don’t grow some willpower and turn yourself around. Fix it. You have a pretty good example in Jordan; he works full time, has a family and goes to school full time (though his grades could be better).

Jordan, Josh, Mom and everyone else needs to lay off Heather. She is fine, the problem is Justin. Get your shit together, Justin. If you’re too immature to handle a girlfriend at this point in your life along with your other responsibilities, don’t have one.

4 thoughts on “Heather isn’t at fault

  1. It’s a characteristic of men to want to come to the defense of their women and blindly look past character traits that will come back to haunt them. Protecting Heather and standing by her side blindly is not the right decision. He needs to evaluate who is around for what reasons. Saying that Heather isn’t a problem is ignoring the situation. I don’t think anyone doubts that he would be better served if he were single and in college. His girlfriend happens to be a lot like other women we’ve seen. If she seemed to be more supportive of his ambition and less of a charity case, than I wouldn’t have a problem. If she seemed to be more interested in Justin and less interested in herself, I wouldn’t have a problem. He’s my brother and I’ll call it like I see it. I’d do the same for any of you. I don’t expect him to dump her for me and I don’t expect to have control of his life. But you better be damn sure that if I’m worried about what’s going on that I’ll speak up. In the end, no matter what happens, I’m still his brother. It doesn’t matter what he does, who he does, or when he does it. I’m still his brother.

  2. If Justin wasn’t dating Heather, he’d be dating someone else or doing something else to mess up his life. He lacks discipline. If he had it, there would be no problem with him dating her. Because he does not yet control himself, he would be drinking too much or playing online games and not going to class. And yes, he is my brother and I will help him as much as I can. If he doesn’t pull himself together though, there will be nothing anybody can do for him.

  3. Heather isn’t the problem, I do believe that. I think Justin needs to stop being a mommy’s boy and trying to save her (she has to want to save herself) and anyone else that can’t be saved in this world. Some people are using Heather as a scape goat, no need, Justin’s his own worst enemy at the moment and moments to come. The remark about “women” Jordan, I think we could say the same about men, or any other human being. It’s not about being a man or woman, We’re responsible for our “own” worth, we make our “own” mistakes, we make “our” own decsions, etc. There’s no one or something standing there with some sort of weapon pointed at us making us act or be the way we are. We’re responsible for our actions, behavior, lies, destiny, etc. We make our own choices and have to live with them the rest of our lives. I know Heather and Justin, they both have their faults. Not one of us should judge anyone, nobody is that perfect in this lifetime or has that right! They both are very nice young adults. Both of them are a bit immature at times, one can be more than the other and the other way around. BUT, can’t we all be that way? It’s ashame these two are no longer together, they actually were a very cute couple. I do hope Justin and Heather made the right decision and one that they both can live with for the rest of their lives. You don’t throw away the one you love for no one, except yourself! You don’t let anyone influence you that way or that heavily in life, especially when it comes to a realationship or life in general. We all have someone we look up to as we grow and experience life. I guess we have what they call a mentor, etc. which is fine to some degree, but that mentor isn’t always going to be there holding your hand and helping you with all your decisions throughout your lifetime. They say you don’t “marry” the family when you get married or are dating. Man! is that statement not true!! Family can have all sorts of influence and play head games if they don’t like whoever your with. They can make your life a living hell, or the other person’s which is ashame. Again, no one is that perfect to sit and judge or ridicule anyone. So, Justin and Heather if your both out there and reading this. You had better think about what you want out of life. You had better stop letting other’s influence you. You need to become your own person, make your own decisions, live your own life. Wether that’s with or without a certain person or any other person. If you don’t become your own person, you will always run and never have a relationship with anyone! Justin, I’m someone you’ve met a couple of times, I think your a wondeful person, (just can’t figure out what you honestly want without everyone else telling you what they think you want or need) Become your “own” person Justin, live life, stop trying to be “superman” and just save yourself and live your own life and honestly figure what it is you want out of life without anyone else’s input or thoughts, etc. I was in your shoes once, I made your mistakes, when I let go of everyone telling me what was best, what I should do, how I should act, etc. I honestly began to live and enjoy life extremely!! Justin and Heather, I hope you both can find happiness in the future to come. It’s sad your both not together, things happen for a reason in life. We don’t always know or understand what that reason is right at the moment, but somewhere in time we do find out or begin to understand how that reason became. I wish you both the best, life is way too short to be miserable if your decision isn’t your own in anything you do. And, no matter what happens, I’m still both your friend or aquaintance. I’m not taking sides, just calling it the way I see it and have experienced life and decision making myself. Sincerely, An aquaintance of Justin and Heather (two very nice young people)

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