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How can you make yourself more attractive to women?

Sunday, October 14th, 2007
Posted in Advice by Joel Gross

I have been doing way too much work with Excel and financial projections lately and now I have attempted to apply that logical approach to what men should focus on when trying to attract women. If you have any opinions that differ with mine, please feel free to post your ratings and reasoning in the comments and if you convince me, I’ll change the post. Also, I will do another post in the future with what women should focus on to attract men.

First, I thought “what are the most important factors to women when they look for a man?” Obviously, I’m not a woman, so I have to go off of what qualities I’ve observed attract women and women I trust have said they look for in men. I narrowed it down to money, looks, athleticism, maturity, humor, intelligence, loyalty and confidence.

Next, I rated each of these factors by the time it takes for a woman to recognize them or “Instant perceivability”. I also rated each factor by what my opinion the importance of each factor is. I then multiplied the two factors together to give me a total value number. As a man, if you are contemplating what areas you should improve in yourself, keep in mind that you shouldn’t just put all your effort into the highest value; rather you need to consider what your weakest areas are currently and what return you can get from the effort you put in.

Instant Perceivability Importance Total Value
Looks 10 8 80
Money 7 9 63
Humor 7 7 49
Athleticism 8 5 40
Maturity 5 7 35
Intelligence 6 5 30
Confidence 6 5 30
Loyalty 2 7 14
Instant Perceivability Importance Total Value

14 thoughts on “How can you make yourself more attractive to women?

  1. I don’t think that you can place looks that high on the list. I see far too many ugly people with pretty people in the marketplace for this to be true. Unless this is a weighted scale where a relationship needs to reach a sum total of points to substitute for the absence of looks. You’ll need to develop and advance the science of attraction a bit more before you change your day job.

  2. I can and will place looks that high… look at how high money is on that list. Almost always, if an ugly man has a hot woman, he has money. Look at Donald Trump… ugliest and most annoying man alive married to a gorgeous supermodel.

  3. Shouldn’t that mean that money trumps looks- if an ugly and annoying man can buy love, doesn’t that mean that it would supercede these others. Of course you’ll need to develop a sliding scale for each category and a correlating value for certain criteria. A “3″ looking guy with only a “6″ on the money scale doesn’t achieve lust/love. A “3″ looking guy with a “9″ on the money scale does….

  4. You make it too easy for me to make fun of you… (think about what your grandfather told you when you were younger) Your scale is all wrong. You can’t quantify these things, for one. Looks will age and fade away. Money can be lost. So that can NOT be number one(for me). It might be an initial motivator for many… but if there’s no substance behind the beautiful facade, then the “relationship” will also be fleeting. A good woman will value character over looks, passion over money and heart over athleticism. Anyways, I think attractiveness is 80% attitude, 20% genetics. I think therefore I am. (Descartes) You are focusing on all the wrong stuff. Since, you are not a woman… I forgive you for your misgivings. You’re still learning. :P What about friendship or chemistry? I really think your list is lame. Sorry.

  5. “God”- I think that the total score is what you need to pay attention to. The summation of the values of all the different characteristics is what determines what woman you are able to pull. For example, I would go for a woman who could score 325 out of 341, whereas you would target a 17 out of 341. It’s all about what you are capable of. If you improve some of the listed traits, you may one day be as high as 40 or 50 out of 341. “Cougar”- friendship and chemistry are two aspects of the relationship that are developed over time. This list only describes characteristics of a person and their INITIAL values upon meeting. I think that if the average woman met a man who did not have a high enough total score (combination of money, looks, humor,etc.) at the very first meeting, she would dismiss him as a potential mate. If he met her threshold, it still isn’t guaranteed- he has to develop the relationship with her. You also are right that a woman should value maturity, intelligence, heart, etc. over the more worldly things… but a woman cannot judge these characteristics in the first ,and most important, meeting. Therefore the more perceivable factors take precedence.

  6. Joel I completely agree with your scale. I know people say that a man should be gentle, passionate, caring etc. First off that’s alot to ask from a man and secondly, all that is a load of shit. As long as you look good, have money and charisma you can get any girl anywhere, anytime. Another thing I would add to that list is Game. If you got Game then you’re money. If not then you better practice.

  7. Mr. Faryar can be a tad insensitive, but in many ways he’s correct; girls talk about how they want to date nice guys, but they always fall for assholes. I have known far too many women who talk about how they want a guy who is caring and kind, then when an asshole comes along who cheats on them and treats them like crap, they fall head over heels. Nice guys finish last.

  8. Even my mom admitted to this strange phenomenon. She flat out said that when a good looking man who’s tall, big, strong and very masculine (opposite of feminine, sensitive, caring and all that crap) walks into the room and he has a beautiful woman with him then all the other women in the room instantly get jealous. They think that man is special and they want to attain him. And if you are a woman reading this and you say that you don’t get jealous then you are either lying or in denial.

  9. If we are going to oversimplify, it boils down to sex and survival of the fittest. Which woman will best suit his needs to keep his namesake going? She wants to make sure that her potential suitor isn’t going to impregnate her with ugly, stupid babies, b/c the ugly, stupid babies will have a more difficult time in life. But, women are complicated. So, for me, I will always want and expect more. Geez…{twirls hair} maybe I’m going about this whole male/female relationship thing all wrong. I should find a man that has lots of money and super good looks… b/c I don’t really need to focus on bettering myself. I just need to make sure I look good so I can be “the right woman” for “the right man”. Hmmm….

  10. Dear Future Ex-wife, You have already found a man with super good looks and he will also have lots of money in 10-15 years. So technically at this moment you are with the best looking, fittest and richest man that you will ever be with. I’m not bragging or trying to be funny. I know this particular man and trust me, I’m right.

  11. “Future Ex Wife”- I completely agree with you that women are much more complicated and that there is far more that goes into having a relationship than just the factors I listed. That being said, the purpose was not to gauge the success of a relationship, it was just to gauge the success of the very first meeting. Picture a guy walking up to you on the street and after a few minutes of conversation, asking for your phone number… what factors do you base your decision on whether to give it to him or not? At this point, you know virtually nothing about chemistry or character or compatibility… you base your decision on these “cutoff” factors. If he meets these cutoff factors, then you will give him a CHANCE to build a relationship with you, but obviously the other important facets must also fall into place. Mr. Faryar- Thank you for the compliments… you are a great friend. :)

  12. I have not a shred of doubt as to the kind of person I am with. No validation is needed for me, none at all. Complimenting my taste, yet putting down the woman I am? To each his or her own. My only doubt, (because I actually do care about him a great deal), would be that if I were his friend I would caution him in dating someone older with so much more responsibilities. I would never want to (hurt or) hinder him from achieving all the great things in life, I know he will achieve… I am not offended, by your comment, since you don’t know me.

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