Joel’s New Agent

Samianianianian Talent Agent

World-class talent needs proper representation. As an up and coming superstar, I have hired myself an agent from Samanianianian Talent Agency named Cynthia. No longer will I need to grovel with the common herd of humanity in order to accomplish my goals. Instead, Cynthia will take care of the dirty details and my hands will remain immaculately perfect.  From now on, when I go out and see a woman I might potentially be interested in, I’ll send my talent agent to do some recon and find out the real story.  No more listening to blonde blowhards drone on and on about themselves.  My talent agent will also be responsible for fielding calls from phone numbers I do not recognize to make sure its not someone I don’t want to talk to.  She will also handle scheduling dates by using the following script:

Cynthia: “Hi, I’m Cynthia and I’m Joel’s agent.  He wants you to join him for dinner tonight at Quinn’s on Capitol Hill.

Random Girl: “Woooohoooo!  I’ve just hit the Man-Lotto!

Cynthia: “Shall I schedule the dinner for 8 pm?”

Random Girl: “Yes, I’ll be there!”

Just substitute whatever activity for dinner @ Quinn’s and different superlatives from different random girls and this should work in any situation.

All of my friends, family and acquaintances should now go through my agent when contacting me.  I am a busy, busy man.