King of America: Policy on Suicide

In America we have several basic rights: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We have the freedom to either try to be happy (making money, chasing women, running marathons) or to not be happy (anything goth). Americans have the liberty to do most anything that they please: pick their nose, create militias, drive cars, eat McDonald’s till they are too fat to get out of bed or just do nothing.

Why shouldn’t we extend the same freedoms to the right to life?

Picture this: anyone who no longer wants to live, for whatever reason, can apply for a suicide license. The applicants will have a two year waiting period and must attend classes on why or why not to kill yourself. If after attending these “suicide classes”, the person knows that they still want to die, they will receive a license and have a humane, physician-assisted suicide.

A humane suicide would be far better than having someone’s spouse or children come home to find them hanging from a chandelier. People should have the right to a clean death if that is what they want. If I have the right to pursue happiness, why shouldn’t I have the much more important right to my own life?