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Lance Armstrong – A Great Athlete

Friday, January 25th, 2013
Posted in Guest Writers by Joel Gross

Special Guest Post by the Black Rooster out of Iran:

I would like to say a few words regarding Lance Armstrong and his use of performance enhancing drugs (PED’s) or in other words steroids. I know a lot of people won’t like what I have to say but I don’t care because they are mostly fat, useless, unathletic, jealous and obese people who haven’t even seen inside of a gym, let alone competed professionally in a sport.

Lance Armstrong is probably one of the greatest athletes of our generation. Now before I explain any further I want everyone to know that I’m not a cycling fan at all and I have never even seen a Tour de France race. The truth is I’ve always found the sport slightly gay. There is something about skinny dudes wearing tights and sitting on a hard saddle for hours that I never quite understood. As a matter of fact I’m not even a big fan of bicycles. The last bike I owned was over 15 years ago and I never bought another one since. I just wanted to clarify that in case anyone thinks I’m all over Lance’s nuts or a big fan of the sport.

Now regarding Lance. Anyone who’s ever competed professionally in any sport or is a fitness freak like myself knows the amount of sacrifice, dedication and hard work that someone like Lance has put in. Not only has he dedicated his whole life to this sport but he’s had the genetics for it as well. Because being the best in any sport, whether it’s cycling, baseball, basketball or bodybuilding you have to have the genetics and the dedication.  There are a lot of people who have the genetics for a specific sport but they don’t have the dedication and the mentality to become a super star and there are people who have the mentality and the dedication but not the genes. Lance had the” complete package” and that’s why he won the Tour De France 7 times.

Now regarding steroids. Anyone who thinks that steroids are some sort of a miracle thing that you take and then all of a sudden you’re a superstar is a flat out IDIOT. I’m sick and tired of people thinking that steroids turn you into superman and therefore anyone who uses steroids is not a “genuine” sportsman or a “true” athlete, whatever the fuck that means. A lot of people think you can sit on your ass all day long and do nothing and as soon as you inject your first steroid all of a sudden you look like Arnold Schwarzenegger or you can run like Usain Bolt or bike like Lance.  These people need to go to a gym and look at all the professional bodybuilders that use steroids. These guys eat, sleep and train like animals. They workout harder than anyone you’ve ever seen including the “non-steroid using general population” which I often refer to as NSUF (Non-Steroid-Using-Fatties). These bodybuilders are some of the most disciplined people you’ve ever seen. They have dedicated their entire lives to perfecting their physique. Their training, dieting and lifestyle is so hardcore and gruesome that an average person couldn’t do it for one week, let alone for 15-20 years.

Now let’s put things into perspective. There are hundreds and thousands of bodybuilders  who train like animals, are super disciplined, dedicate their entire lives to bodybuilding and use steroids but they never win a Mr Olympia title or they never become a legend like Arnie or Ronnie Coleman, why? That brings me back to my previous point, because they either lack the genetics or they don’t train hard enough, basically they don’t have the “complete package.” Same principle applies to every other sport on this planet, including cycling and our boy Lance Armstrong. The truth is that a lot of professional cyclists out there use steroids, just like in any other sport. In fact the Lance Armstrong era is seen as a “dark time” in cycling history because steroid use amongst professional cyclists all over the world was very common and widespread. So how come then thousands of professional cyclists using steroids for over a decade, none of them could win 7 Tour de France titles? For the same reason that the professional bodybuilder didn’t turn into Arnie, because he either lacked the genetics or the dedication to become a superstar like Lance Armstrong.

So in conclusion my dear fat readers we see that the issue is not steroids. Lance dedicated his whole life to the sport of cycling and he had the complete package to become a superstar, something that 99.9% of steroid using professional cyclists lacked. Lance did use steroids but so did most of his competitors but they just weren’t good enough to beat him and become a legend so now they want to destroy him. Therefore not only is Lance Armstrong a great athlete but he deserves all of his 7 medals. So next time you feel like talking shit about him and discredit him maybe you should visit your local gym and train with a bodybuilder for just one hour or put on one of those tight cycling outfits, strap on a helmet and sit on that hard saddle and bike your way through France before you open your mouth.

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