Marrying Young Is A BAD IDEA!
Yes Justin, you are the inspiration for this blog. You are not the only reason that I am writing it though. Many people, including our fantastic brother Jordan, also fall into this trap. My goal is to try to help people thoroughly consider their decisions before they make life changing moves.
I think that most people would agree that it is rash to make a decision without thoroughly considering the alternatives (except in life or death emergency type situations). Why then do so many people make poor decisions? My opinion is that these kind of poor decisions are made usually out of the wrong type of motivation- laziness, fear, boredom and despair. Deciding to get married young is just this sort of decision.
In almost all cases, getting married young is a bad idea. Why? It’s not a life or death situation. Waiting a few more years is very easy to do. You can have all of the benefits of marriage if you want them- living together, constant love and caring, sex, and everything else- without having the obligation of a lifetime of dedication to someone else. People who are very young will still grow and mature and change a whole lot and maybe you will one day hate the person you are in love with now.
Here’s the top reasons NOT to get married young:
-Adventures. Think of all of the amazing places you could go, toys you could buy, cars you could drive, women you could make scream and diseases you could cure if you didn’t have the constant burdening distraction of marriage.
-You don’t need to get married young. In America’s permissive culture today, you can have all of the benefits of marriage without the metal ring holding you down.
-Potential pregnancy does not make marriage a necessity. Use a condom, birth control and blow jobs to avoid the risk of pregnancy and if it does happen, abortions are easy to get. If you’re too cheap for abortions, golf clubs are easily available at many thrift stores.
-Financial stability is a must for marriage. A marriage is a commitment that requires tons of work and effort to make successful and money problems are listed as the biggest cause for divorce in America. People who get married when they are in debt (Justin) are just making it that much harder on themselves.
-No responsibility. When you aren’t married, you are your own man. You can do whatever you please. If you are married, your time and money and efforts will all go into your partner.
Some people say that their religious beliefs prevent them from having sex before marriage, but that is obviously not the issue here.
Anyway, Justin will live his own life and make his own decisions and no one can control them for him. He doesn’t listen to me, but hopefully someone else contemplating marriage will come across this blog and make the right decision to wait.
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Like my cheesy pic? :) 
Its funny that you would mention me in the above blog.
Most of your gripes about getting married young are things I’m either not interested in or don’t necessarily apply.
And if we’re talking financial security as a reason, I definitely agree. I don’t think someone with credit card or other high interest debt should even ponder getting married.
Financial security is vital to a healthy marriage, but I also think that people need to have a long trial period of living together to see if they are truly compatible. My friend Ian is an excellent example of this- he’s been dating his girlfriend for 7 years and they have lived together for about 5 years and he still isn’t sure he wants to get married. The other very important rule is to never marry your first love. All of those feelings are new to you and cause you to make poor decisions. You are in love with how you feel, not the person you are in the relationship with.
Other than not having lived together for an extended period of time I think Meghan and I do alright.
Why do alright when you can do grrrreeat!
I don’t believe in giant talking cats peddling sugar coated flakes to unsuspecting children.
Go read my post on Allena Ward and then we can talk about unsuspecting children.
You sound like a complete d- bag. I also agree that marriage at a young age is an irresponsible decision, but your reasoning just makes you sound like a pig headed selfish f-*&.
The abortion comment, honestly? Who made you… grow up. You’re part of the reason America is so fucked up. Stop preaching your bull shit ideals so the world and learn how to function as a valued member of society.
Also just to your above comment… couples that opt to live together before marriage are 24% more likely to end their marriage in divorce.
Do some research dumb @%%$.
Not Relevant… are you Heather?
No… I havo no idea who you are. I’m doing research for a paper I’m writing on the benefits of waiting to marry till you’re older and I came across your post I was slightly harsh so I apologize, but I meant what I said.
I completely agree with Joel so everyone stop your bitching and moaning because you know he is right. The only people who will disagree with Joel are either virgins (because they are desperate to get some vag)and religious fanatics who think that you must be married to have sex. If you grew up in the west i.e Europe and America then you have been given the freedom to explore. You are bound by nothing and you can sleep with as many girls as possible, travel to as many places you like, earn as much money as you want etc. Why would you give up that freedom by forcing yourself into living with someone that no matter how attractive that person is, you WILL grow tired of.
Marriage at a young age is stupid and marrying out of love is even more stupid. Research has shown that physical attraction dies after max 3 years. So after three years you are stuck with someone you dont really fancy anymore, sex probably sucks and all you do is work to make sure you dont miss a single mortgage payment on your shitty 2 bed and 2 1/2 bath house. Now imagine if you were single and all the diposable income you would have available. You could travel to a couple of new exotic places every year.
Also why would you fall in love? Falling in love is the most ridiculous thing you can do because ultimately you’re emotional well being is directly correlated to your partners actions. Why would you want to give anyone such power over you???
Thank you and goodnight
“Also why would you fall in love? Falling in love is the most ridiculous thing you can do because ultimately you’re emotional well being is directly correlated to your partners actions. Why would you want to give anyone such power over you???” Sounds like your a vagina yourself. Stop being so afraid of being hurt and grow a pair.. How can you even call yourself a man?
So Mr or Mrs “Not relevant” who wont even reveal their identity calls me a vagina. Is that the best thing you can come with. “Stop being so afraid” LMAO….afraid of what?? This is not about being afraid it’s about all these men today who are so pu**y whipped that they think they need to fall in love all the time.
Besides give me one good reason for falling in love?
And we all know that the feeling of love is no different than eating vast amounts of chocolate so I suggest that next time you feel lonely and not loved, go buy a pound of Mars bars, get some paper towels, grab your teddy bear from when you were 5, which I know you still have in your room and cry for about 2 hours and then Im sure you’ll feel better.
You’re way too judgmental, Joel. There is not only one way to live life. Sure, depending what a person wants in life, there are “better” or “different” ways to live, but that doesn’t mean that a person can’t be happy with the life they choose, married or not. Just because you haven’t found your purpose in life or you haven’t figured out what really makes you happy, doesn’t mean that someone else hasn’t. Justin’s journey is different from yours. You shouldn’t judge him. You should be happy for him that maybe he has found something or someone that contributes to his happiness and success in life. It isn’t that marrying young is bad idea, it’s marrying when you are not ready is a bad idea. And as far as Justin goes, he knows himself best and is the only one who can decide that.
And frankly, there is no escaping the fact that you do not have all the answers you think and say you do. Most of your posts, just show your true lack of experience and understanding of the world. You can’t tell one person how to live and what will make them happy.
I think that really is what your real problem is, you don’t know what it is like to truly love someone or give without any expectation of getting anything in return. Everyday, you are constantly trying to figure out what to do with your time. Who should you hang out with? What bar should you party at? You wander around lonely when you don’t have your friends around or some girl around. The next day, you still feel empty and want some way to fill that emptiness you feel.
For marrying at a young age is really not bad! It just depends on the people. I think everyone who says its bad is so stupid and wrong!!I have been with the love of my life for five years. I got married when i was 15 because me and my husband really love each other we have now been married for almost 5 years we are happly married and are gonna stay that way we have two kids a boy and a girl the boy is 2 years old and the girl is on her way. So dont get married if you just wanna get married and at least be with the one you think you love for four years.
So really i have been with my husband for almost 10 years now!!!
I am getting married young and I think that the reasons you listed are a little selfish. Especially the one about “having no responsibility” and “the metal ring weighing you down”. If someone wants to be single, fine. But I don’t think that getting married young is a bad thing…obviously, since I am doing it. My parents got married when they were almost 30 and they still weren’t financially stable. They also fight a lot because neither one of them ever gave up their “single-person” personas. Obviously, if someone has decided rationally to get married young then the reasons that you listed do not apply to their personal life goals. I don’t judge people who decide to stay single until they are 40, so lay off those that are content to get married at a younger age.
I’d have to agree, Heather. This post is shit. You sound like the party type that once 40 finally rolls around will realize how worthless your last 10 years of life have been. Just because we decide to do things differently doesn’t mean they are wrong. And as for marrying at 15, “Elizabath,” that’s fucking stupid. Your mind isn’t even fully developed at 15. You fail, as well.
Just out of curiosity: if you agree with Joel, why get married at all? I mean, if you can have ALL the benefits of marriage without actually getting married, why would you?
In reality, you can’t have ALL the benefits. It’s sort of a paradox too, because all these are selfish reasons (i.e. multiple women, do whatever you want, etc.) The key to an awesome relationship is to get over yourself. Stop being so damned selfish! Men, put your energy into the well-being of one woman who will reciprocate. Neither of you will ever trade the other in your lifetime. Marriage is simply coming to that conclusion.
The problem is not timing, the problem is the modern view of relationships – which is frankly backward – it is self-love. May as well just masterbate, at least you won’t end up with an STD.
Wisdom: The key to happiness is to quit working to make yourself happy. Make other people happy and you’ll find it yourself.
“You can have all of the benefits of marriage if you want them- living together, constant love and caring, sex, and everything else- without having the obligation of a lifetime of dedication to someone else.”
these are obviously benefits from an immature boys perpective. To us more rational thinkers here are benefits aside from these. One of the benefits you spoke of attaining with out getting married is living together. Living together and married offers more bnefits than two single peopl living together. Especially if you ar young and attending college; finalcial aid is greatly improved. Now, for a marrige to work you must b open to seeing things from the womans perspective. I don’t know of any self respecting woman that would live with a man “without the obligation of a lifetime” and still manage to giv the man constant love,caring and sex. Not to mention the risk of pregnancy even on birth control. Why would you risk getting pregnant wih some one who hasn’t commited. It’s easy for you to talk about abortion by a golf club but som
e of us are more sensitive to killing our baby. The woman will evntually walk out on any man who thinks like you do.
Reality check: you won’t have your cake and eat it too.
No responsibility is one of th points you made. Maybe you should get married. It will teach you to be responible and grow up young man.
I’m in my thirties happily married for 15 years. My husban and I grew up together through college and have created a functioning family and life. Good luck findin someone when your old and all the woman your age have grow into themselves unable to mold with your life style. Find some one while your young. Grow together and be happy.
this blog shows no intellect;
I agree completely with more realistic than you and the fact that he or she is in fact more realistic.
Just because your friend Justin’s marriage failed doesn’t mean marrying young is a bad idea. Obviously he isn’t a good example if he was dumb enough to fall into debt in the first place, and get married!
I got married while attending college and my wife attended college. We both got good financial aid; our part time jobs didnt go towards school as they would have if were single. Our earnings went towards getting a place together, we started with a shared a lab top (a very nice mac might i add)until sophmore year she got her own. I care more about her than myself so i gave her the new one =]
What im trying to get at is that caring for some one when i was young and having someone care for me made my life easier. I stress out about college all throughout high school until i met her junior year. I knew it would be alright.
As long as your realistic and truly in love there is nothing wrong with marrying young
I totally agree with your blog… And I’m a girl.