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Pick-up Lines for the Post-Apocalypse

Friday, March 13th, 2009
Posted in Education by Joel Gross

The drumbeat of doom continues as China’s Premier has expressed concern about China’s trillion dollar investment in U.S. government securities.‚  If China even slows the rate of it’s purchase of securities, America is screwed.‚  Our economy is already in steep decline and due to our massive national debt, business debt and personal debt it won’t take much to send us into a death spiral.‚  When the inevitable happens and we are roaming deserted city streets in old Suburbans full of shotguns, how will we go about picking up the ladies?‚  Quite simple: just switch these pick-up lines in for your current repertoire:

  • “So I have a private well and robbed a Twinkiie factory, what do you do?”
  • “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I tie you up and carry you home?”
  • “My wife was killed by marauders.‚  Will you sleep with me?”