Blog
12/16/2008
Posted in Reflection by

Profound Questions To Consider

People who know Joel understand that he is a deep intellectual with a wealth of ideas for sharing.‚  Right?‚  Occasionally though, even the great Joel runs into issues that he cannot resolve on his own.‚  For such instances he turns to the audience of his blog for solutions (because they are brilliant enough to read his writing regularly).‚  A few of the most profound questions to enter the thought world of Joel are below.

Deep, profound question #1: What hair color do they put on bald men’s licenses?

Profound question #2: Can men and women have platonic relationships?

Deep question #3: If you were offered $1,000,000 right now to have your mother die one day sooner than she otherwise would have, would you take it?‚  What about one year?‚  Using this logic can you place a monetary value on your loved ones’ life?

Profound question for thinkers #4: Doesn’t a lightning rod atop a church show a lack of faith?

Profound question #5: What is the best opening line to use on Catherine Bell?

Catherine Bell - Marry me?

Catherine Bell - "Marry me?"

Profoundly deep question #6: If “well-endowed” women work at Hooters, do amputees work at IHOP?

Profound question #7: Who will win the national championship football game between Florida and Oklahoma and what will the final score be?

Pro-fun question #8: If women were physically larger and stronger than men, would the relationship between genders be the same?

Profound questioning instance #9: In every sports game there is a winner and a loser, so why do only the winners credit God with determining the outcome?

Deep and profound question #10: If a doctor had a heart attack during an important surgery, would the other doctors work on him or the original patient?

Joel would greatly appreciate your contributions to answering his pround questions.‚  Feel free to answer as you like in the comments below.

3 Responses

  1. Plato says:

    1. The color of their pubic hair. 2. Yes, but such friendships are rare. 3. I would take 1,000,000 for a day but not a year, this system cannot be used to effectively value life because it does not take into account the exponentially increasing value the more life you propose to take, on the last day of your life you are expected to be sick and your quality of life is expected to be low, making it easier to trade that day away. However, your quality of life is expected to be much higher 10 years before the last day of your life and should be worth more. Consequently determining the value of the last day of life does not provide an accurate value of each day of life. Not to mention that life in the aggregate is worth more than the sum of the days involved. I might trade you one day for 1,000,000 but there is no some of money which I would accept in exchange for every day of my life. The theory also doesn’t account for the decreasing need for money as you get more and more of it. If I could have 100,000,000 in exchange for 6 months of my parents life I might take it, but if I had that option I would never accept 50,000,000,000 for the entirety of my parent’s life because I would already be able to live extremely well off of the first 100,000,000. 4. Yes. 5. “You must be cold in that leopard print underwear, here, take my jacket while I get us a cab.” 6. No. 7. Florida will win 24-21. 8. No. 9. Losers know that their God is a jealous vengeful god who clearly liked the other team better and they don’t want to piss him off. 10. Depends.

  2. Obamalutionary says:

    1. Eyebrows might be less invasive to evaluate then pubic hair, but either would preferable. Or “Bald”. 2. No. Especially over an extended period of time. 3. Yes. And yes it does mean I would sell my loved ones lives. Mind you, I would charge quite a bit for some of you, but it would be prorated based on emotional attachment. 4. No. 5. “You’re quite obviously out of your mind running around on Joel’s website in your underwear. Here take these pills- just a little something to calm you down. No, nothing to worry about!” 6. Yes, at least they should. Would eat there more often. 7. Florida 35-24. 8. Yes. If the situations were reversed, men would be emotionally needy and dependent and slightly unstable. And taken advantage of. 9. Exactly as Plato said. 10. Work on patient. His heart is open on an operating table- more severe than the guy just having heart failure. Get nurses to zap him.

  3. Candace Shields says:

    Dear Joel, Thanks a lot. I discovered your site a few hours ago; keywords being ” a few hours ago. ” I am now way behind on my work because I couldn’t drag myself away.