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Sleeping with Stupid

Thursday, March 12th, 2009
Posted in Joel by Joel Gross

Or not necessarily stupid, just immature. I have a friend who told me yesterday about a hot twenty-one year old blonde he is dating and how she is not a genius to start with and also is still essentially a teenager in her maturity level. He says he is loving it: her emotions are predictable and easy to control, and she does whatever he tells her to do. My friend is not an immature guy either, he has been in very serious, very long term relationships before. Another friend also confessed to me yesterday that while he has slept with very smart, very mature women whom he was in love with, he wasn’t very happy because they were not pretty enough for him. This friend is openly willing to sacrifice intelligence and maturity in the women he dates for good looks.

What does the King of America think about all of this? Are relationships happier for men when the woman is prettier, not smarter?

I’m not sure. I used to be all about ignoring someone’s looks and focusing on who they were as a person, but there are base biological instincts that are hard to put off. For me, I want both the brains and the beauty. I have tried dating dumb hot girls and quickly grow bored and start acting like a maniac to entertain myself. I also have dated intelligent, not as attractive women and found that while interesting, I didn’t have as solid of a physical connection as I want. Another big problem though is that I have yet to meet any woman (or man) who matches my intellectual prowess (and massive ego)… so I have to pick on the scale of stupidity from soul-crushing idiot to tolerably intelligent. Beauty on the other hand is something where many, many people better me. Strangely though, I have not dated a woman who I think is actually better looking than I am: I usually have hard enough of a time finding girls who don’t make me want to end my life to avoid having to listen to them talk.

An important aspect of people that I have left out is personality. A girl can be not very pretty and not very smart if she is funny and engaging. Two of the women I have dated have had great personalities and were always fun to spend time with. They were fairly intelligent, which is probably a prerequisite to having a good personality, but that wasn’t their shining virtue. These two girls were very sociable, willing to try new things and made whatever situation they were in their own little party. Both women were strong and confident, which I think is necessary for a great personality to shine. Dating another girl who had possibly the worst personality of anyone I have dated (but was one of the prettiest and most talented in the bedroom), made me appreciate those two more. Looks or intelligence by itself just don’t meet muster.

In conclusion, I think that all three aspects (beauty, brains & personality) are roughly equally important. Any woman that I date now must meet a certain minimum standard for each and I will have to subjectively judge the value of category to me beyond that to determine who I will be with.

Do you agree or disagree or want to make another point?