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The 1st day of Halloween

Saturday, October 27th, 2007
Posted in Celebration by Joel Gross

God is kind.

Halloween falls on a Wednesday this year, meaning that we get two full weekends, plus Halloween itself to celebrate… 5 days all told.

Fletcher and I began our Satan worship last night by going to a house party hosted by one of his girlfriend’s friends. Below is a description of our descent into madness.

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I went as a dirty priest.

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Fletcher was a sleazy 70s porn star. He had a sketchy mustache he had been working on for almost a month.

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Partners in sleaze… note the fishnet stockings I have on. Great priest, eh?

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Fletcher is way, way too good at this whole sleazy thing. He soaked himself in cheap cologne and no one would stand next to him at the party. I told him he better not do the same thing tonight.

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Yes, those are my heart boxers… “Want to see God’s Love?”

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Geez, just looking at him makes me feel dirty. Ew.

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“Let me lay my hands on you. I can make miracles happen with the help of my homeboy, Jesus. By the way, have you read the great book ‘Our Bodies: An Unexplored Link to God’?”

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“I love you and so does Jesus. Where is the little boys’ room?”

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A priest helps an uncaring New York woman understand the depths of her depravity.

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Satori, the gypsy woman, learns about the ways of the righteous.

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The creepy 70′s porn star enjoyed photographing this poor goddess’s breast almost falling out.

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Hmm… I think the crazy one needs to cum to God.

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Everywhere I go, this man follows me. I think he’s a witch doctor. BURN HIM!

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These women unfortunately had to ride home with the two Kings of Sleaze.

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Weird dudes.

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A heathen Viking, that needs to be brought into the warm welcoming arms of the Catholic Church. Either that, or hacked to death with a sword.

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Wenches.

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Do I look like a child molestor or what?

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The religious man trying to avoid the seductions of a heathen goddess.

Tonight, I venture out to my friend Scottie B’s house party and perhaps to a hippy party or clubs downtown!!!

I think Halloween is my new favorite holiday. At least, till Thanksgiving comes round.