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“The Game” by Neil Strauss aka Style outlines The Mystery Method

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008
Posted in Advice by Joel Gross

Trent recommended reading “The Game” by Neil Strauss. I picked up a copy and started to read it and quickly got hooked. I finished the “The Game” in a couple of days, voraciously tearing through it. Neil Strauss is a great writer with a good, balanced perspective of an outlandish topic: how to get laid.

“The Game” is an autobiographical account of how Neil Strauss joins a community of men known as Pickup Artists or PUA, and goes from being an inept nerd who can’t get laid to being a godlike player who can have any woman he wants in his bed. Neil Strauss even works his game successfully on superstars like Britney Spears and Courtney Love (who becomes a friend and lives in his house).

So how does Neil Strauss aka Style go from being a hapless near-virgin to a socially acceptable sexual predator? Strauss did it by diving deep into the wild world of Pick-Up Artists and by learning the Mystery Method from Mystery Himself.

Reading the book was quite an interesting experience and I picked up a few tips that I will probably incorporate into my game. In the last two years, if I can get a woman to give me 15 minutes of her time, I almost never fail to gain her interest after that. Getting those first fifteen minutes is where I run into problems, so I may try some of Neil Strauss and Mystery’s methods in that area. I also have an entertaining story Trent told me about his attempt to incorporate the Mystery Method, but first watch the following funny Mystery Method pickup artist video:

Mystery Working Game

As you can see, Mystery’s methods work. A lot of it is just common sense stuff: girls like cocky/funny guys, silly lists and games, and a mix of pushing/pulling on their heart strings. The actual tactical science behind the Mystery Method as described by “Style” (Neil Strauss’s player name) is outlined and summarized by me below:

Mystery Method Basics

Smile first, last and always. Smiling shows confidence and that you are a fun person.

Base attributes: confidence, humor, well-groomed, connecting with people, social center of room

Process: Find – Meet – Attract – Close

Group Theory- Women are rarely found alone. Most girls are in groups and to win the girl, you must win the group.

Group win techniques
-win friends first while ignoring target (especially focus on men & other potential cockblocks)
-Use a “neg” to pretend to be unaffected by a girls charm and get friends to laugh. Neg = backhanded compliment with a barb hidden in it. Examples of negs are “Is that lipstick on your teeth?”, “You would look good with you hair down/up”, “Is she always this needy?”. Nonverbal negs are disinterested looks, wandering off, checking cell phone, etc.

Peacock Theory
- Wear something ostentatious to attract best females. Look great, but also have something flashy/colorful. Can be cheesy (weird hat, flashy jewelery, shiny shirt, etc.)

Interesting convo opener: “If I wasn’t gay, you’d so be mine”, “Did you see those two girls fighting outside?” , “Let me get your opinion on something…”

3 second rule: Approach a pretty girl within 3 seconds of spotting her.

Cocky/funny: Women love men with confidence and humor and they are easily won over by a cocky/funny atitude that doesn’t take things too seriously. Trent is the first guy I have seen successfully use this and other guys I know also act this way, including myself. I’m not sure if this can be learned though- it’s based upon how you truly feel about yourself and your actual sense of humor.

Provide Value: Show the girl that you are interesting and important. You can do this through carefully concealed bragging in stories, creating and playing a game with a girl, gain interest of other women showing that you are important to others. You can also try to quickly gain respect of the guys with her.

Create comfort: Be willing to emote and create a unique connection between you and the girl.

Close: Get her #, email, kiss her or even do the dirty. Encourage her to make the first moves by using different techniques. Create intimacy, then shut her out, then let her back in. Or start with innocuous touching (sit on lap & look at computer, massage, close sitting).

The Mystery Method is not the only Pick-up Artist technique. There are several other primary strategy sets used by men accomplished in the art of attracting women, but since Neil Strauss’s book “The Game” focuses primarily on Mystery and his strategies, I will do so as well.

More Funny & Educational Mystery Method Videos:

Mystery and Style (Neil Strauss) take ABC Primetime on an exploration of the pickup artists world. Mystery gives $2,250 a head workshops for guys who want to pick up girls. The video shows “Joel”, a guy who probably is actually gay, learning from Mystery how to pickup girls. ABC’s producers end up saying that the Neg is the ace in the hat of pick up artists: the subtle insult is the key to breaking down a woman’s heart. Watch the video breakdown of the Mystery Method by ABC below:

Actual videos of Mystery teaching the Mystery Method are below:

The Fear of the Approach Video- Mystery’s somewhat sketchy description of why men are afraid to approach women and the logic behind how to get over approaching women

Mystery Method Approach of Women Video: this guy overcomes initial rejection to get two women’s interest and end up winning them over. Highly educational pickup video. The guy in this video pretty much uses canned routines originally created by Style and Mystery. I don’t think he really has anything original, so it’s especially impressive how much success he has. Perhaps winning women is more mechanical and less organic than romantics would like to think. The girl even ends up asking for his phone number!

Finally, another great mystery method video on how to open up a couple of girls to conversation during the middle of the day, overcome rejection and still succeed.

Neill Strauss went on the View

The following video is of Neil Strauss going on the View and explaining to a group of semi-hostile women his perspective on picking up women and dating. Strauss brings the women of the View around in the video and very impressively explains his thoughts.


Neil Strauss’s girlfriend Lisa is super hot! It’s amazing that by using the Mystery Method and other dating techniques, this short bald guy was able to pickup a supermodel rockstar and make her his girlfriend. I think that Neil Strauss is an extremely sharp guy anyways; he has been a writer for the New York Times and just listening to him discuss “The Game” with the women on the View shows just how smooth and smart he is.

Is “The Game” and the Mystery Method ethical or is it sleazy?

Towards the end of “The Game”, Neil Strauss starts to come to the conclusion that a lot of the pickup artists that he and Mystery have helped train have become “social robts”. Social robots are people with no depth who have just taken other people’s personalities as their own, much like serial killers may cut off someone’s face and attach it to their own. Strauss doesn’t consider himself to be this way, even though he took many of Mystery’s approaches on as his own, because he only uses these techniques to open girls up to him so he can be himself. I think that Neil Strauss is right on on this point- it is okay to try different ways of introducing yourself (much like changing your resume), but you need to be able to move on to the substance of your character and who you are in order to be successful and happy. If you use some of the Mystery & Style Methods to start an interesting conversation with a woman, great. If you use it to just sleep with women and take advantage of them by being someone who isn’t the real you, you are a scumbag.

Should you try out any of Neil Strauss or Mystery Method’s ideas?

Absolutely. People who are naturally a bit shy can benefit enormously from some of the Mystery Method opening strategies. Just be careful to be yourself too and don’t just be a sleazy ripoff of a human being. Even if it works for you, you won’t feel good about yourself in the morning.

Is the already masterful King of America (Joel) going to use the Mystery Method?

I’m not sure if I should… it could be sensory overload for any woman I subject to an amplified level of my game. I don’t want to cause seizures; those are unpleasant.

I am going to try out some of Neil Strauss’s advice and see what works and what doesn’t. I primarily like his encouragement to be confident and keep trying. I sometimes let my baseless fear of rejection overpower my belief in myself and don’t approach beautiful women. I think that I’m going to creatively think up a couple of opening questions before I go out so that I will have something to initially talk about besides the incredibly boring and standard “How are you?”, “Where are you from?” and “Where do you work?”. The core of the Mystery Method is to get away from these instant bores and to engage people with a unique emotional connection.

What do you guys think? Write me some comments!

6 thoughts on ““The Game” by Neil Strauss aka Style outlines The Mystery Method

  1. I think the book is entertaining but there isnt anything new in it. To me it seemed like a bunch of mostly social retards who couldnt sleep with girls in high school or college had to come up with alternative ways to attract girls because they were lacking looks, charisma and just pure game. The guy mystery was a freaking magician, i.e he was “that guy” in high school and college that everyone avoided. Don’t get me wrong I think some of the stuff they do is funny and it works but I already knew that. Like smiling when you enter a club or house party or wear nice clothes and always smell nice. Or do something outrages in a bar when you first enter like tequila suicide shots to grab people’s attention. or the best one is to buy a round of shots for everyone, especially if there are guys in the group because you will instantly gain their trust. These are old school methods. Im sure these guys have slept with a lot of hot chicks, probably way more than I have but again i think if I devoted my entire time to picking up chicks I could probably be just as good as these guys. I’m not trying to brag because there are tons of guys out there with better game than me but I think the methods these guys are talking about is something that everyone knows but they are afraid of using. Maybe I should write a book….”The Aladdin Game” LOL

  2. Black Rooster, you should write a book, but I’m not sure if it should be called “The Aladdin Game”… I can think of a few other titles: “Sexless in Seattle” “Arabian Nightmares” “The Death of Javorski” “Homo Hunters” “Punishment and More Punishment” “Limp and Liking It” What do you think?

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