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The Joel Osteen Comedy Show

Friday, May 23rd, 2008
Posted in Debate by Joel Gross

I wrote a post about Pastor Joel Osteen, who leads the largest church in the nation a few months back. In it, I mentioned some scandals he’d been involved in and how he doesn’t stick to Biblical doctrine. The post has become very popular online and I have had over 8,000 people read it so far.

Over the last few months, I have been very amused by the amount of stupidity in the comments that I have received. At first, I tried to reply to them, but soon I gave up. Now the comment count stands at 136 and continues to grow by one or two each day (usually about 100-150 people read it each day).

Some of these comments have made me laugh out loud… I have copy and pasted a few of the comments below for your personal enjoyment along with my opinion:

Deb- “Do you even know the guy? Are you even christian? I do not think that you should talk about things that you don`t understand. God works in mysterious ways keep that in mind, he chooses some people for some jobs.”

I am not a Christian, so I must not know what I’m talking about… I actually read a study that said atheists do better on a quiz of basic Biblical principles than Christians do. And something tells me that ‘God’s mysterious ways’ aren’t to use a television scam artist like Joel Osteen.

Ron- “last time I checked God was not taking the time to reply to email blogs…Only in the case where God told you specifically what Joel’s “assignment” was should you hve the remote right to judge him or determine if he is doing right, and no matter what you think…you never have the right to JUDGE ANYONE.”

Oh good… so I can’t judge anyone, even a murderer, if he claims that God has told him what his ‘assignment’ is?!?! Something tells me your logic isn’t going to hold up in court, buddy. Or what about Adolf Hitler? Hitler claimed that God backed his government…does that mean we should have let him exterminate the Jews???? Joel Osteen is also a criminal, he just commits different crimes.

Ann Mary- “If he (Joel Osteen) doesn’t specifically speak about Christ or God so he can uplift many different beliefs, all I could say is look at his followers, he’s “OBVIOUSLY” doing something right!!!!!”

Hmmm…. Osama bin Laden also has a lot of followers, does that make him, his methods and his faith correct? Everyone on our planet used to believe the earth was flat. Having a lot of people agree with you doesn’t make you right.

Black Rooster- “Im waiting for the day when the headlines in every newspaper reads “Joel Osteen molested a 6 year old boy”. We then find out that Joel had all along lured little boys into thinking that it’s OK to touch his penis because it has a positive reaction and makes him feel good.”

No response.

Bensie- 1400 word essay response

Don’t care.

Jesus- “I dare you to debate that with me ~ especially in the after life! Now come together and come clean, or shut your mouth and especially your devil worshipping money hiding churches.”

Thanks, Jesus. Glad you had your say.

Alex- ““Joel Gross”. You do not impress me as being a Christian at all, but that of some other religious ( if at all ) denomination.”

Haha… A genius!

Alex- “Your quotes from the Bible are 100% accurate. Your interpretation and application of those same quotations especially against Joel Osteen are deemed to be 100% MALICIOUS.”

Ummm….. cute. Actually I presented all the Biblical versus together and showed how they applied to the situation.

Alex- “Matter of fact, your quotes also apply to the Catholic Pope, the Schuller Ministries, the Dollar Ministries, Ed Youn Ministries, Jimmy Swaggart Ministries etc., etc.”

YES! YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK!!!!

Alex- “Sir! YOU and your blog are THE pitiful SCANDAL. I shall pray for you and shall tithe to Joel Osteen continuously in the hope that you too will go to heaven and be saved from the eternal hell from which you preach.”

… Crap… I had so much hope for you before you fell to the Dark SIde.

Gracie- “Judge yourself first!!! Look inside yourself FIRST..Look at all your own sins and things you’re not proud of in yourself Then if you have any stones left to throw {which you won’t}} Toss away..because NOBODY including Joel will be standing there for you to throw stones at..Our Lord will have resurrected HIM home..”

Glad that you know Joel Osteen is going to heaven and that I’m headed straight to hell… all based on a blog post.

Cole- “How is Christ being glorified in the scrutinizing of Joel Osteen ministries? If you feel that he is wrong in his teachings, books, megachurch, or even his approach to life, then pray for him. Pray that GOD would open his eyes so that he could see that he is wrong(I mean, if he is wrong).

Think about it, when we are wrong, but believe that we are right, doesn’t Christ open our eyes to our errors? So why can’t he do the same for Osteen (I mean, if he is wrong)?”

Once again, why am I not allowed to scrutinize pastors? Many pastors are not good people and run scams (John Hagee, Ted Haggard, etc.). I think if we followed Cole & friends recommended path of not investigating scams then the world would be overrun by criminals like Joel Osteen.

Adam- “I did not read all of the comments posted”

…Like most of the rest of the commenters….

Lauren Kurchak- “GOD bless your Ministries… I look forward to seeing you on air!”

Ummm….. I am not Joel Osteen.

Vincent- “I feel this nonsense talk about megachurch pastor Joel Osteen is outrageous He brings inspiration to others and doesn’t preach hate like a lot of religious morons want him to. People like preacher Joel Osteen because he makes millions feel good about life and living. I feel it’s wrong anyone one to make judgments on someone who is an extraordinary preacher. I feel other preachers are jealous, because they don’t have the success that Joel has and people like him are better for it. Inspirational semons are what people want today. We are all tired of preachers encouraging hate…”

Wow. Just about every sentence you wrote is directly contradicted by the Bible… If the Bible says you must believe in Jesus Christ to go to heaven, you cannot equivocate and say that’s not true. I suggest reading the Bible sometime… it’s not a book of pure love, there is an awful lot of jealousy, hate and discrimination in it encouraged by God himself (no other idols before me, etc.)

LaShaye- “If he wasn’t doing the right thing than God would not have him in the position that he is in. He wouldn’t have a big church or 2 books wrote.”

Hahahahahha…. Adolf had a big church & “2 books wrote” too… You lose.”

Helen Pearl Friedman- “I’d appreciate it if someone could call me, 215-637-3478 (home) or 267-237-5566…”

Whoops. Did you really just post your phone numbers on my blog??!?!!??!!”

Jordan- “Whoops. Never post your phone number unnecessarily on the internet. You have no idea who might be out there enjoying your first and last name and your contact information.”

Jordan called her and tried to have phone sex soon thereafter….

Gracie Marmelejo- “I’m sorry to say this, but your just hating, why because you don’t have the money, yes i’m sure he gets lots of money, but regarless God gave us a mind of our own and i’m sure we can use our own sence, of whats right & wrong or what to believe.”

Score one for the ghetto!!!!! Hahaha… Are these people serious?

NATALIA- “I DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT NOTHING,….”

My first honest commentator.

Angels of God- “Satan chose you to condemn Joel for being righteous but, the Lord will protect him. Think about that while your burning in Hell. Thank You.”

Woooooooow…. I am not even going to start.

Curtis- “you are going to burn in hell for not believing in god and for putting down his servants….”

Going to hell for calling out a scam artist?

Natasha WIlliams- “….So, why single him out? Because the devil is ALWAYS BUSY!!!!!!!….”

Hmmm… I’m sensing a theme…

David J Andreoni- “I HAVE BEEN WATCHING JOEL OSTEEN FOR A FEW YEARS (31/2 YEARS). I HEAR THE WORD “GOD” REPEATITLY. YOU SIR/MADAM MUST HAVE YOUR HEAD UP YOUR ***. I DO BELIEVE YOU ARE TRYING TO DENEGRADE MR. OSTEEN. PERHAPS YOU ARE ONE OF THE LIBERAL FREAKS OPPOSED TO ORGANIZED RELIGION. I AN NOT A HOLY ROLLER BUT, THE WEEKLY TELECASTS OF MR, OSTEEN PROVIDE A GOOD FEELING FOR MY WIFE AND I.”

HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHahahhahahaha… best comment ever.

JellyRoll Jackson- “Hey Joel God love’s websites like this. Just Kidding.”

Thanks a lot man. That hurt my feelings.

Jo Walk- “You seriously are not religious as you say, (or even NICE for that matter)”

Hm.

Wicks- “43 million in tithes, bestseller on the NY Bestseller list, 34 million in online donation and you have the sorry nerve to critique him. You antiChrist, you pharisee, the very people you killed christ when he was last in town.”

Umm… Actually Jesus Himself threw the money changers & marketers OUT of his temple…

Wicks- “…so please go hang…”

Uhhh… I think I should call 911 at this point lol

Starla Bice- 1400 word comment, 3 pages single spaced

Don’t you people have a day job?

Anyways… Go view the Joel Osteen Comedy Show yourself if you like.

9 thoughts on “The Joel Osteen Comedy Show

  1. The comments are most enjoyable, a few were responsible for some really good laughs. For some reason, I am not sure why, “Starla Bice” seems familiar. Does she to you Joel? (if indeed, it is a “she) Have you thought about what your next debatable topic will be on?

  2. Not sure… I have an endless amount of material to work with from pastors, but I would prefer something fresh. Politicians are too easy game. I’ll find something. :)

  3. You should look at non-profit organizations. Or some of the recent disaster areas and their governments. Or compare parties, etc. And you wouldn’t believe how naughty, zealots can be on the phone. Mmmm Mmmm Good.

  4. If Jesus did not want us to “judge” others and their actions, he would not have given us clear criteria in the Bible to use for that purpose. “By their fruits shall you know them….”

  5. Sir, I just came accross your site. After reading the comments along w/your responses I am sadden. There is so many other “better” things you can do w/this blog. People like you are destined to hell, not because of simply “outing-out” a scam artsit, as you called him, but because of the dark intentions of your heart that you are doing it with. You’re not doing it for the benefit of the people you feel are being scammed, but because of the hate and disatisfaction in your own heart and life. You are correct in saying that most athiest knew or know the Bible better than most “christians”, but if know the Bible as well as it seems to me that you do, you’ll remember the scriptures that tell us that satan knew and knows the bible very well too. In fact, he knows it so well, that he knows exactly where his ever-after will be when his time is up. Why do you think he is so determined in playing with people’s minds such as yours? He wants to deceive as many as he can, just as he did w/a third of the angels. Ask them, I’m sure given the opportunity, everyone of those (angels of darkness now), will tell you that they wished they could have doing it all over again. They would definitely give a deaf ear to satan (angel of light–while in heaven). The Bible teaches us that we must hate the sin and not the sinner. So, I will simply keep you in my prayers, because whether you are doing this simply to get your kicks or because you really do believe in what you are doing, your soul still is destined to an everafter, and “BELIEVE IT OR NOT”, there is a hell and there is a heaven–eternal death or eternal life. Your choice, if you choose eternal life, all you simply need to do is repent…. Admit that you are a sinner (just as I am, but now bought by the blood of the lamb). Believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for all of your sins and Confess that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and Lord of your life from this day forward. Believe me, and believe God’s word, as we are on this earth, we will never be perfect, and if Jesus Himself was rejected, what can we expect. Our goal and aim should be to do everything with a clean and pure heart. Everytime we know we’ve sinned against our God, we must immediately repent. God’s word also tells me that when we repent, confess our sins and ask for forgiveness, He throws them into the deepest part of the ocean, never to be remembered again. Now, satan will never sit back and let one that he never had to worry about, simply slip away from his hands. So, he will come against you, reminding you of your past. All you have to do then, is simply remember this–”in a car, we have a big windshield window and only this little, ittie-bittie rearview mirror. This is because in our lives, what we just past is not as important as what is still ahead of us on the road” (words by Joel Osteen). There is no greater emotional and even physical fredom and peace, than that which the Lord in His great mercy and grace gives to us. Man has fallen time and time again, but just like a child learning to walk, get up and try taking those steps again. Anyway, believe or not, Joel Osteen is starting now. Must let you go, because whether he is doing things with a hidden agenda (which I pray is not the case–for his sake), I am still receiving God’s words of encouragement thru him and His (God’s) word will never return void. God Bless you and good night.

  6. Keep up the good work. I have grown so tired of these ignorant, undeducated, unconscious, religious-freaks. I don’t have the energy to deal with them. Your replies are funny!

  7. I agree whole heartedly with everything you said. However dont be alarmed by the response supporting Joel Olsteen. You have quoted the very same verses, which applies to most of your critics. Joel Olsteen should not be called a minister, he is a motivational speaker. However in one of your replies you stated, you were not a Christian? Just elaborate on that for me. Like Andrew Wommack stated……..If most christians had to be arrested for being a christian, there wouldn’t be enough evidence to convict them! Im in the works of starting my own site, addressing salvation and Bible prophesy. I have always wanted to expose Joel Olsteen. However bear in mind, we will all sin. In your post you criticise other minister because of their sins. (James 4 vs 11-12 NLT 11 Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters.[d] If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. 12 God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?) Your mixing your apples and oranges. This is where I disagree with you. This explains why most of your readers have opposed you. All of the prophets in the old and new testament have sinned.The same sins they have commited or trangressed against so have you. (James 2 vs 10 NLT For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws. 11 For the same God who said, “You must not commit adultery,” also said, “You must not murder.”[e] So if you murder someone but do not commit adultery, you have still broken the law.)The one thing you are totally correct on is Joel Olsteen. You just beat me to the punch line. I have always wanted to expose him. Not out of jealousy, but because of his dilution of the Gospel! But to say he is not going to heaven is incorrect. He will go to Heaven, because the penalty for his sins have been paid throught faith in Christ Jesus. So Joel Olsteen is a false teacher for his dilution of the Gospel, not a false prophet. A false prohpet is someone who denies Christ Jesus. The preceding included other religions that believe on Jesus but reject his divinity. These are the ones that will say but Christ I have healed and taught in your name. And Christ will say I know you not! Burn baby burn, I have no sympathy on those who reject Christ.

  8. Pastor Joel Osteen have done for me what no other Pastor or Reverend have done for me. He has given me hope and delivered me from the bondage of hopelessness and despair. I don’t care if he claims a specific religious doctrine or teaching. One thing that I know for sure is today, I have a better relationship with my God as a result of listening to Pastor Osteen’s positive messages. THANK YOU PASTOR OSTEEN AND MAY YOU CONTINUE TO PROSPER IN YOUR TV MISNISTRY!

  9. I am a christian. I think you should be too because you have definately hit the nail on the head with Joel Olsteen. I believe he is a false prophet who has manipulated his way into peoples pockets. Thanks for the information on him. For someone who does not believe you are profound in scripture. Sounds like you need to accept the truth and accept Jesus in your life…not everyone is like the fake christians. Best of luck to you.

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